Tell me this ain't pimpin' daddy.

Samantha is wiggida wiggida whack Jack!

Yeah, I got sick of Wordpress screwing with my quotes all the time! So I got THIS.

Microsoft Exchange sucks. It is entirely too big, requires way too much administration and costs a ridiculous amount (especially considering it'll cost you extra for things like antispam). I am sure that plenty of large organizations choose to run Exchange because they feel more comfortable running an application manufactured by an enormous corporation that ripped off Stacker and forced the use of their browser. Anyways, I went searching for a better way to do email and it wasn't so straightforward.

In my search I assumed the following requirements:

- SMTP (obviously this one is required)
- IMAP (this is how I like to store/read my email)
- RBL (there's a few good ones out there)
- SSL/TLS ('cause I want to send/receive email from other places too)
- No Java (seriously, Java is a pig)
- No .NET (seriously, .NET is a pig)
- Simple backup/restore (durrr, why make it hard right?)

I started off by trying Linux, I like Debian, and began there. I found numerous tutorials explaining how to setup very enterprise-like email scenarios but they were all dependent on doing things exactly as they were explained. Deviation from the described plan seemed to be more painful than it should have been. You can make a pretty impressive system out of Postfix (MTA), Dovecot (POP/IMAP), Spam Assassin (duh), MySQL (users, domains, aliases, etc) and Squirrelmail (webmail)… but I couldn't find a reasonable interface for managing settings, domains, users, etc. I'd even settle for a simple web interface but then you'd be adding Apache and PHP and whatever the fuck else to the mix. I then checked out CentOS, quickly lost my motivation and gave up on Linux.

OK, so I am back at Windows… and trust me, I don't WANT to be. I wanted to see if I could do it on NT4 which would would be bitchin' for anyone wanting to have appropriate licensing, but that didn't work out. Maybe that was a bad idea to begin with since NT has absolute shit for USB support. Why do you want USB support on a mail server? Well, it just might be a cheapass way to back that shit up (remember, I was going for cheap). OK, so now I am workin with Windows 2000 Server…

I found a few that were supposed to be free but they had limitations that made them worthless to anyone who wasn't using it just for their family. Xeams looked good but needed Java, and hMailServer is dependent on .NET. There is an old version of hMailServer (version 4.4.4 I believe) that doesn't require .NET but doesn't have the ability to use SSL/TLS. So as it stands, right now my snork.ca email is being run on hMailServer v5.x and I have a Windows 2000 machine with SP3 that runs it. This is the best I could do? :-(

Anyone have any bright ideas? Suggestions? Annoying comments? Anything?

We humans make significant change to the environment around us every day. We have taught ourselves to create and build some spectacular things. There are people who would suggest that these changes are a natural evolution, that they are not bad but rather are a necessity on the road to further development of the human animal. Those people are as fucked as the people who believe that the Bible is a true story.

So a few years ago I bought a Coast Spas hot tub at Mermaid Pools And Spas on Merivale Road, a Helios to be exact. My warranty can be found HERE in PDF format. The part that applies to me is where it says:

FIVE YEAR NO LEAK WARRANTY – Coast Spas Manufacturing Inc. warrants factory-installed plumbing against water loss due to defects in materials and workmanship for a period of five years from the spa’s original date of purchase. This warranty specifically covers leaks from the jet fittings, drain fittings, internal plumbing, filter canister and light lens.

Why does this apply to me? Because it leaked. It leaked in my fucking basement. Here's where it gets shitty…

I call up Mermaid's repair department and tell them that my tub is leaking. I am told that the "Volcano Jet" (the big one in the foot well) is not covered by the warranty. Funny, I didn't see any mention of that in my warranty card (see above). So I am told that if I replace the volcano jet [at my cost] and it still leaks, then they'll send a guy out to look at it. I do replace it and it still leaks, so I call them back.

Now that I am calling to schedule someone to come to the house I am told that it will cost me $100 for the first visit and $85 fir the second visit. They seemed VERY confident that a second visit would be required even though they had done no troubleshooting at this time. I asked why I would have to pay if this was under warranty and was told that it was because I live far away (40km according to Google Maps). They have me by the short hairs so I tell them to send somebody. They schedule an appointment and tell me that I can call after 8:30AM on that day to find out what time they would arrive. I make the call and am told that they'll be here around 2:00PM or 3:00PM. The time comes and goes, when I call them back to see what the fuck is wrong I am told that I didn't answer my phone at some point so they didn't come (even though I was home all day).

So I setup a second appointment and the guy comes over this time. He looks at the tub and starts pulling out the insulation from the sides of it. He tells me that there is a plastic pipe that is leaking and that he doesn't have a replacement in his truck. How exactly the fuck does a "Hot Tub Repairman" not have fucking plastic pipe in his truck? He promptly charges me $100 and tells me that they'll probably contact me to make another appointment. They do call me to make a subsequent appointment and tell me that not only is it $85 but it will also cost $25 for every 15 minutes after the first hour.

The second guy shows up and says "It's not even fucking glued"… that's right, Coast Spas maker of the self proclaimed WORLD'S BEST SPAS (it says so right on the panel of my spa) didn't glue a connection before they sent the fucking thing to me. Nice job. And waitafucking minute… why did the first guy tell me I needed parts? Why did he tell me I would need to have a return visit? Was it just so they could rape me for another $85? I think so. In the end, the second guy was in my house for 11 minutes (as timed by a digital stopwatch). He walked out of the house and said he would let the office deal with billing and I signed NOTHING.

I was pretty pissed about this shabby manufacturing job, shitty repair, and bullshit service… so I called Coast Spas who told me that there is no charge for parts or labour on warranty work but that the repair assholes may charge a travel cost (which is not governed by Coast Spas). Funny, I have two problems with that:

1. How is "$25 per 15 minutes after the first hour" a TRAVEL charge?
2. How is $100 per hour (the effective rate) a reasonable travel cost?

Coast Spas indicated to me that it was my problem to deal with the cunts at Mermaid and that they had no problems with the way Mermaid was treating customers. I assume they feel confident in this position because most people do not buy more than one spa in their lifetime, and as a result, good service is not required.

A few days ago I look at my credit card and they have billed me over $200 when I only authorized the first bill of approximately $112. I called to ask about it and was told by whoever the fuck was on the phone that he would talk to the two repair guys and get back to me. Funny, he never called me back. Cocksucker.

So if you ever find yourself in the market for a spa, hot tub, pool, supplies, or anything at all… I would strongly suggest avoiding the douchebags at Mermaid. I would also suggest that regardless of spa retailer you should ask some annoying and specific questions about warranty. Throughout my spa purchase and ownership I found it odd that manufacturers, dealers, and sales whores seemed to make it sound like repair is quite common… far more common than I would have expected before I started looking to buy one. Now I know why, they are built like cheapass Barbie dollhouses and the warranty certainly doesn't mean "cost free" in any way.

Blow me Mermaid, fucking blow me.

Seriously, kiss me right here.

Through complete randomness today I found The Kingdom Of Loathing.

Yeah I have a Samsung M300 crappy old cellphone. It isn't fancy and it doesn't have all the bells and whistles… but it does allow me to make and take phone calls. I thought it might be nice though if I could be as cool as my friends with a pinhead ringer. I found it isn't so simple with this device, but it is possible. I found a post at sprintusers.com and thought I would reproduce it here in case that site ever lost it and because I plan to use this info again).

1. Trim your mp3 file to 20 seconds [MPTrim]
2. Convert your mp3 to QCP file format at Media Convert – Select “Pure Voice File” .qcp as output format
3. Get a USB Data Cable for your Samsung M300 (possibly on eBay)
4. Attach your phone to your computer's usb port
5. Install Samsung CDMA Technologies Driver
6. Download Bitpim
7. Add your QCP file as a ringer and your M300 will restart
8. Go to Options on your phone and set your ringer

OK, so to make up for the extended posting absence I present… TWO Guild Wars shots. :-)

The first is a brutal ping time of over 30 seconds…

and the second is LTJ's current status on the KoaBD track

you go into debt
because there are things you need
the bank owns your life

I was looking around at a few games recently and I must admit that I am pretty sick of games that claim to be free but offer an Item Mall. Yes yes… of course it is still free to play but that is like telling someone they can have a FREE CAR which doesn't come with the proprietary wheels that allow it to move, if you want the wheels you can get them at our Item Mall. It's a cheapass scum tactic to get people to download 3Gigs of data that they don't want. Shame on you whores.

Recently I sent out an email to my "blog subscribers" to tell them of the domain name change… I sent it via my Google Apps account but I used an email alias to send it. My real email address was disclosed in the email and that bothers me, I thought that was the whole idea of the fuckin email alias. As a result I have been considering bringing my email internal again and using something like SPF/PRA/SenderID/Whatever. Of course my thoughts were to make a Debain based server, possibly with Postfix and some other fun stuff like Dovecot. I ended up finding this article on Debian's position regarding Sender ID.

Thanks Debian… thank you for holding the position that my data should be mine, while the means by which I use it, should be free, available for use by all, and not subject to someone else's ownership.